DID YOU LOSE SOME FRIENDS WHEN YOU BECAME A MOTHER? DO NOT WORRY

If there is something that completely turns our world around, it is being a mother. It implies many changes in our life, our routine and even our friendships. Some friendships reinforce with motherhood, while others lose them.

You may wonder: Why does this happen? I'm the problem? Do not worry. Oddly enough, this is quite common and although it is certainly something that can make us sad, there are lessons we can take from this experience.

Why do we lose friendships?

There are many reasons and moments in life when we can lose a friend. This usually occurs when there is an event or big change in our life: Enter a new school, move to another city, start a new job or give up what you already had.

In all these cases, our routine changes and therefore also our availability and interests. The same happens when we are mothers. They are changes that break with the ordinary activities we used to make. As we grow we take different paths and this It is part of the maturation of each person.

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It's sad to lose a friend, but I once read that all the people who enter our life do it with a purpose. I don't want to get too deep into deep thoughts but I think there is some reason in that. There are people we know because we needed it at that time. Once they have fulfilled their purpose, it is time for everyone to take their way. I do not say that all friendships should end, but those that do, they don't leave without leaving us a lesson.

And what happens when we become mothers?

I think any woman with children could agree with me when I say that motherhood changes the way you think. What before seemed very important things, have now gone to the background with the arrival of a son. It can also happen the other way around, with things that you didn't care about before and now are essential for you.

This changes our interests and also our conversation topics. If before we talked mainly about fashion, movies or the topic we liked, Now we are also interested in talking about things related to motherhood, such as issues of parenting, breastfeeding, milestones of our babies, among many other things.

Eye, I do not say that we are not interested in the issues before, because of course Being a mother does not stop us being women and we still have our own tastes and interests. However, in the case of our friends who are not yet mothers, the relationship with the arrival of our children may be affected.

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There are friendships that adapt to our new rhythm of mothers and that even become valuable support, showing us that friendship between women without children and women with children is something very beautiful. However, there are others who may not be interested in these issues at all and gradually take their own path.

And although it hurts, we should not feel overwhelmed or hold a grudge. It can cause us sadness, yes, but as I tell you, any friendship that ends leaves us a lesson. In my case, after losing several friends for having become a mother, I learned to value even more those who are next to me until this day.

There is also the possibility of end friendship with other mothers. I remember that when my daughter was just a few months old, I read an article written by a mother, in which I was in deep pain how I had ended my friendship with a friend of her who was present at the most important moments of her life. The reason? They had opposite opinions about breastfeeding.

When reading that article as a first-time mother and without friends who were mothers, the reason for her estrangement seemed completely ridiculous. What wouldn't I have given to have a group of friends with children? But now that I have been a mother for some years, I understand that having different parenting styles can become a problem if we don't know how to handle it with tolerance and respect.

But not everything is bad news. I know, for example, the case of a blogger friend who despite having a way of parenting totally opposed to another mom friend, They have managed to separate their friendship from their way of raising and have a very nice relationship. It is something that I find admirable and that I would very much like to see in more mothers.

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What can you do if you lose a friend

I am not a counselor, neither a psychologist nor an expert. But I am a woman and mother, and I have been through this situation. My first recommendation would be that, If you're really interested and think it's worth it, try to save the friendship.

On the other hand, if you notice that things have changed a lot and really have virtually nothing in common, it doesn't make much sense or sense to force things or hold on to the past. We can continue to maintain friendship at a distance or close that cycle and say goodbye. Thank the person for everything he gave us, take the lessons he leaves us and move on.

Remember that we are all maturing and growing as people, some before others or differently. Who knows, maybe tomorrow their paths will cross again and friendship is reborn. And if not, the best we can do is remind them with love.

Did you lose any friends when you became a mother?

Photos | iStock
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