The year begins, and after the frenzy of the holidays, I invite you to resume those New Year's resolutions that you surely did and that, perhaps, you have already forgotten. And I want to focus on encouraging you to do your own list of New Year's resolutions as parents, specifically, because I think it is very important for several reasons.
The first reason is that, if you express and write your purposes as parents, it will be much easier to audit, verify your progress, grant recognition for what has been achieved and, ultimately, improve. The more specific, clear and organized our purposes are, the more possibilities we have to commit to them and transform them into goals got.
The second reason is that you are an example constant for your children. You teach them with your actions what is personal commitment, overcoming and coherence. You also teach them that mistakes are opportunities for improvement and that, working, we can really achieve what we want.
When we reflect and make a list of purposes as parents we are assuming a commitment of effort with ourselves, we put ourselves before our lacks, failures and desires, giving us more strength to move forward. In addition, if, if possible, we share that list with our children, if they are old enough to understand it, they will be our best and most loving guides, we cannot hide or deceive them, for they see us precisely with unparalleled clarity. There are no excuses.
As I said I think we should each be able to do our own list of purposes, applied to our personal circumstances and the needs of our family. However, I encourage you to make a general list that I hope can inspire you.
The truth is that for this list of purposes for the new year I gathered the concerns of as many people as possible I asked many parents who have helped me with their suggestions. Surely they reach your heart.
Spend time with the most important people in your life
The days have for all twenty-four hours and we are usually very busy, so we have little free time. But another certain thing about time is that it happens very quickly and what we do not live with children tomorrow will not return tomorrow. Spend more time with the children.
For very little free time we have we can dedicate it to children instead of, often, spending it on conversations or diversions that take us away from them and that are not giving us real pleasure or learning either.
Let's not get carried away. Let us be attentive to the children and achieve good communication with them, for which it will be important that we discard the phones and other digital distractions when we are spending time playing or talking with the children.
To really know someone, it is not enough to look at it above, you have to be and be attentive, talking, discovering what you are passionate about, your interests and abilities, your fears and dreams. To love someone well, it is not enough to feel that we love him very much, but it must be demonstrated by dedicating our full attention and understanding. And the children notice.
Stop screaming
Another issue in which opinions have been unanimous in the purpose of stop yelling at the kids and talk to them with patience, empathy and respect.
Shouting at our loved ones is a horrible custom, which makes them feel undervalued and even fear us. We try to educate ourselves to control our nerves and not shout at our friends, family, co-workers and our partner, and we usually get it.
If it were something usual in us shout out to those around us We would have to admit that we have serious anger control and communication problems. If my boyfriend yelled at me every time he gets impatient or upset he wouldn't be my boyfriend, that's for sure.
But with children it is different. We speak with impatience, bad manners and screams too regularly. In part it is the tension of responsibility, fatigue, that they are unruly, but none of that justifies that we, adults who know how to control ourselves, treat them badly.
There are techniques, reflections and exercises that can help us to educate without shouting and, in addition, doing a good vital planning to live happier and without tension will also help us.
We all sometimes lose patience, but of course we can greatly improve human relationships and their quality if we learn to do it as little as possible and not to use angry tones or aggressive words with people we love and who are also defenseless before us.
It is good purposes to which I encourage you to join: Do not shout at your children and spend more time enjoying with them.
