In a few days our children will be officially on vacation. Gone are the days of homework and study, which have been especially intense in recent weeks to close the course. The culminating point of the school year arrives in which the students receive the qualifications and as I have been able to hear in some WhatsApp groups (one finds out too many things there) there are parents who punish their children for bringing bad grades.
I am not talking about physical punishment (I hope not), but about forbidding things that the child likes or leaving them without certain "privileges" such as going to a summer camp or a birthday. My daughters are all three in primary school, so we talk about children between 6 and 11 years old, an age at which the motivation instead of punishment, it is essential for the little ones to succeed in any field, including in studies.
Why do punishments not work?
The grades are the result of a whole year of work, nor do I consider it to be an effective way to evaluate the children, but they are still there in most schools. For parents who have been moderately involved during the year, the final grades are no surprise. Most of them already know where the shots come from and a drastic decision cannot be made by punishing the child on vacation when nothing was done during the year to help him.
The child cannot be blamed exclusively of a result in which probably everyone, both parents, teachers and children, have their share of responsibility.
The punishment is not effective either for bad grades, or for any situation in which our children do not achieve a goal. Because what we want is for them to learn from their mistakes and get overcome. What matters to us as parents is not to have children who take pure ten, but children who understand the value of effort, true?
By reacting negatively, with anger or shouting, the child thinks which is only valued for its school performance. Just as I don't think you have to reward them with material gifts to approve, I don't think the punishment is effective for suspending.
On vacation they need to rest
As the time of summer camps is approaching, some parents consider that they are a prize that their children do not deserve when they have failed to pass the subjects throughout the year.
Do not forget that it is your vacation, and although the grades have not been favorable, children They need a rest and fun time with their friends.
There is time for everything. We must not marty them. Prohibiting him from going to a camp, a birthday or a party will not change the situation and instead the child will feel misunderstood by his parents. All we get is that close and get away from us.
How to act without punishing them?
As parents, we have to reflect on what has not worked well this course. We will have to rethink what the weaknesses are, where we need to reinforce and help them review those contents that they may not have understood well.
Maybe the child has gone through some situation that has distracted him from the studies, maybe he fails to organize the tasks or fails to concentrate and there may be a problem behind ... We should not stay in a result, but go further to be able to help them. Here it is important to talk with your teachers, who can help us identify possible problems.
On the other hand, communication between parents and children is the key and of course, make pacts. You will have to make some kind of agreement that does not imply a ban on enjoying your days off, but that take time to reinforce content. The time spent must be according to the child's age, as well as the activities they carry out.
For the elderly, you can set study hours during the summer. During the mornings, for example, it is usually the best time for family organization. For the little ones it may be enough to read or make games in which they practice concentration, attention or mathematical reasoning. Not all are chips, there are many ways to learn in a fun way.
It is important to let them know that we love you a lot above the notes you bring to the end of the course. And that is a daily work in which love and perseverance are the basis of success.
