Being a mother makes us a kind of "todólogas", because it is a role that requires us to transform ourselves into a wide variety of occupations: teachers, nurses, psychologists, cook, decorator, photographers, among many others. And although Fulfilling our multiple roles is not always simple and requires a lot of energy and patience, we do it with all our mother's love.
However, something that we often have on our shoulders, in addition to the endless list of things and responsibilities to fulfill, is the social pressure that we can sometimes receive. That is why it has gone viral the publication of a mother, which shows how ridiculous, exaggerated and often contradictory expectations that society has imposed on mothers.
There is a phrase in English circulating in social networks that I think is very appropriate for the theme of this article: "Welcome to motherhood, for the rest of your life everything you do will be wrong for someone"And it is that besides being moms and doing everything that role entails, it also seems that we have to fulfill what is "expected" of us, otherwise, we are judged or criticized.
In Babies and more "You are a good mom", a mother's message to stop judging the maternity of othersIt is true that Being a mother is a wonderful experience and like no other, because it allows you to have many beautiful moments that you could not experience if you did not have children. But it is also true that it is one of the most stressful, stressful, challenging and difficult experiences we can live.
Personally, and from what I have talked with other friends and acquaintances who are mothers, there is something in particular about being a mother (in addition to the mental burden) that can also be very tiring: meet the expectations that society directly or indirectly has placed on us.
And for sample, the publication written by Sarah Buckley Friedberg, mother of three and manager in a medical products company, and that in a matter of hours has gone viral, proving that this is something that thousands of people identify with: the ridiculous and exaggerated social pressure that falls on mothers:
"The society to working mothers"is the phrase with which he begins his publication, which includes a list of things that mothers are expected to do, showing how absurd and contradictory they can be. In them, for example, includes the challenges of resuming working life after having a baby:
Return to work 6-8 weeks after having a baby. That baby spent nine months growing inside you. Return to work before you have finished healing or have had time to create a bond with your baby. Keep your mind focused on your work, and not your little baby, who is being watched and cared for by someone other than you. Be sure to excel at your job, because you can do everything a man can do! It is your job to show this to society! Show the world that women can do everything. Raise to the top of your career.
Also, breastfeed your baby for at least one year. So take two to three breaks to pump milk at work, but don't let this deconcentrate you from your work activities.
Regarding the pressure to "recover the figure" after delivery:
Lose that extra weight of the baby and recover your figure, as quickly and elegantly as possible. Make sure you have 8 hours of rest every night so you can exercise, work and take care of your family. But also, get up at five in the morning to exercise, unless you want to do it at night when your children have already fallen asleep, but that is when you also need to clean the house and get everything ready for the next day and, you know, sleep.
About be "in charge" of all family activities and routines, a subject of which we have spoken on several occasions:
Keep the schedules of the whole family. Is a birthday party approaching? Make sure you have the gifts ready! Also make sure that children are learning to swim, to play an instrument, to read, to ride a bicycle, to be a good human being, to eat their vegetables, use sunscreen, drink enough water, say "please" and "Thank you".
Don't forget that you need to be dressed in your favorite literary character for next Monday, and that you should wear something yellow on Thursday. In case no one has told you, if you have more than one child you should be buying shoes very frequently. Also: coats, shorts and pants that are not too short.
Hey! Children need many medical appointments. Monthly when they are babies. Every time they are sick. Appointments with specialists, especially if some of them have a particular need.
Sarah also plays other points or activities that add to the long list of things that mothers are expected to do, as the endless list of outstanding at home including ordering and planning meals as healthily as possible, while at the same time we must spend quality time with the children, when the reality is that there will be days when one or the other is attended.
And of course, it also includes that social pressure related to appearance, caused mainly by social networks in which mothers are expected to have their impeccable houses, their children always look clean, and that for no reason they have the audacity to go out in the tracksuit and with a disheveled bun, because of We will be criticized immediately, so in addition to all of the above, we must always have time to get ready and put on makeup before leaving home.
In Babies and more Real motherhood vs. idealized motherhood In the end, Sarah ends her post with a phrase that shows her obvious tiredness and tiredness of feeling pressured to meet all those expectations: I don't know about you, but I'm ready to get away from it.
Although its publication initially places a clear emphasis on mothers working outside the home, most of the situations he names are expectations that have been put on all mothers, regardless of whether they work or not and that many leave us exhausted, almost to the point of not being able to anymore.
The publication has resonated so much with thousands of mothers, that in just 24 hours it has been shared more than 6,000 times, filling with comments from women who they agree that it is extremely difficult and stressful to try to meet that long list of expectations.
The problem with these things that mothers are expected to do is not only that they are unreal in terms of the effort and time they require, but that they are the main cause why many mothers feel guilty and believe they are not playing a good role.
But the reality is that we don't have to comply or feel pressured with that endless and absurd list of things we are expected to do. Nor do we have to be the only ones in charge of everything related to the raising and care of children, nor the responsibilities of maintaining a house.
True, many of these activities are important and essential to lead an orderly life. But It is not mandatory that we follow them as expected.. We have the right and freedom to do them our way and in the way that works best for each family.
In Babies and more The lesson my daughter gave me this holiday: life is more enjoyable when you learn to let go and relaxReally no matter what society thinks about whether or not we comply with whatever they expect from us. What matters is that we take care of and love our children, do what is best for our family and be happy, without pressure, nor absurd standards or expectations.
