Motherhood is one of the biggest changes that women experience in their lives. There is nothing else that represents so many changes at the same time: emotional, physical and psychological. Becoming a mother completely changes our world, and nothing in life is the same after having children.
It is a strange and unique mix of ups and downs. Joys and sorrows, peace and at the same time chaos. It is not surprising that many women going through this transcendental change in their lives feel confused, depressed or even lost.
Now, a new study confirms that the transition to motherhood can be very difficult for some mothers, finding that the having children could decrease women's self-esteem for up to three years.
The study
The research was conducted by the University of Tilburg and was attended by 84,711 Norwegian women between 1999 and 2008. The purpose of the study was to examine the transactions between self-esteem and relationships during the transition to parenthood, a life experience that regularly It occurs during early adulthood.
In the study the association between satisfaction with love relationships and self-esteem before and after having children was examined in four subgroups of mothers: those who had children for the first time, as well as for the second, third and fourth time.
Maternal self-esteem showed a similar pattern change somewhat in all subgroups: it was found that self-esteem began to decline during pregnancy, then rose until the babies were six months old and again fell again during the following years. The fact that this trajectory was replicated through subgroups and pregnancies suggested that this was a change in normative pattern.
The relationship also changes
Regarding satisfaction in relationships, they found that the birth of the first child was the one that had the greatest impact on the couple, compared to the births of the following children.
In the case of first-time mothers, satisfaction in the relationship with their partner during pregnancy remained high, however descended sharply when the baby was born and then gradually decreased in the following years.
Instead, when women became mothers for the second, third and fourth time, the decrease in the satisfaction of their relationships after the birth of the children was more gradual and linear, compared to the one they experienced so abruptly at birth their first children.
The investigation was carried out only until the first 36 months of life of the children of the mothers who participated, so it is not known with certainty if after three years the mother's self-esteem continues to decrease. However, they do know that This is not permanent, since the women who repeated the survey when they had more children had returned to the same level when the entire pregnancy process started again.
Why does this happen?
Some of the reasons the researchers found for this decrease in women's self-esteem during pregnancy were physical changes, hormones that are rampant, stressing about the development of their babies and concerns about the future.
Actually this is quite common, because a pregnancy fills us with doubts, fears and concerns that we did not have before, so much so that it is believed that one in four women suffer anxiety and depression when they are pregnant.
Of course, not all women suffer from depression, anxiety or low self-esteem when they become mothers, nor have they felt that their relationships change or cease to be satisfactory. However, the researchers did find that both things were related, since the women who reported low self-esteem also commented that their satisfaction with the relationship had decreased.
The reality is that becoming mothers and fathers is a stage full of changes for both. The transition includes not only biological and psychological changes, we also talk about social changes, since once we are mothers we have or believe that we must meet certain expectations and social demands.
Without a doubt, the arrival of the children is a complicated stage for the couple, so it is very important that the communication between them is constant, that the two are involved in the raising as long as possible and that there is always time to spend in couple then Although children become a priority, the couple's relationship and their own well-being are still important..
Photos | iStock
Via | Quartz
In Babies and more | Sincere photos of a mother that show the reality of her fight against postpartum depression, I now understand why many couples separate by having children
