Being a mother is a job that never ends. Even when we are "resting," our mind continues at a thousand per hour reviewing the endless list of pending we have to do, or planning the next step or task that we must complete.
Many times, there are so many things we do and our intention to do them all, that we can fall into the burnout syndrome or mothers who can no longer. But we must remember that we are only human, and that Although it is okay to try our best, we should not be so hard on ourselves if we do not succeed..
That is why the publication of a mother has gone viral, who reminds us to have some shortcuts for those heavy days, such as Buying a pizza for dinner instead of cooking, doesn't make us bad mothers.
We live in a time when it is very common to see images and publications that talk about motherhood and the day-to-day life of the people we follow. Many of them are idyllic and very unreal representations about what life is like when you have children. We rarely see pictures of dirty kitchens or messy living room, because frequently what is shared are the "beautiful" moments or when everything looks in order.
And sometimes, to be able to achieve that fantastic dinner that we share on Facebook or to feel that we have done a great job, we go beyond our capabilities and we want to achieve everything in record time, or at least, finish it within the time we consider.
Sometimes like moms, we wish that the day had more than 24 hours, so that we could reach to finish all our pending issues and also to be able to rest as we deserve (although that does not mean anything, because even when we go to bed, our mind continues to work).
However, in real life, both the day and our energy have a limited amount. While there will be days when we wake up with all the attitude of achieving everything we set out to do, there will be others in that for one reason or another, we will not be able to comply with everything.
This is precisely the publication of Bunmi Laditan, mother and writer, who shared on her Facebook page a small reflection with which many mothers are likely to identify:
I like to joke about piles of dirty clothes and pizza at home, but the truth is, I do feel guilty. I feel guilty that I am not baking a lasagna and that there are two (three) baskets of unfolded clothes on the floor of the room at the moment, and I find myself thinking: "A better mother, I would have folded it, kept it and would have all the planned meals of the week. "
A better mother wouldn't have spent $ 200 at the supermarket yesterday, while a pizza is coming. A better mother would have washed the children's sheets and removed the correspondence, toys and other objects from the kitchen table. I wouldn't have so many toys in the family room, nor that brand of a glass with milk on the table.
A better mother would have ...
I was taking a minute to breathe near the couch, on a blanket, when I asked my two older children: "Are they happy? Do they feel good?"
The elder replied: "Yes, why shouldn't we be?"
Is it possible that all those things for which I blame myself so much, for all those things that make me hate myself, are not as important as I think?
I had lunch on Monday and on Tuesday we ate what was left over. I will finish folding clean clothes this weekend (I hope). Being a housewife is hard for me. But I give very good hugs. I listen to my children. I give them a massage on their backs before sleeping when I feel they have trouble calming down. We laugh. They feel safe and like to get home.
If my motherhood were a cake, it wouldn't be an elegant one, but it would taste good. I need that to be enough, I will let that be enough.
Bunmi's publication has provoked thousands of reactions and hundreds of mothers have shared feelings similar to those she expressed in the comments. That feeling that we are failing or that we are not doing things well is usually something very common among mothers.
But nothing happens if one day we do not achieve everything we propose. Nothing happens if one day instead of tidying up the whole house, we leave for tomorrow that disaster zone for which we no longer have energy left. Nothing happens if instead of a healthy dinner, we end up ordering a pizza.
Because most of the time, those things that we stop doing, translate into spending more time playing with our children or attending to their needs. And that, without a doubt, is more important than cooking a full dinner or having the house impeccable as a palace.
It is true, This also does not mean that we should drop in ordering pizzas every night or make it customary, but we should relax a little and not be so hard on ourselves when we do not always reach everything.
Let us always do our best for our children, looking after all for their health and well-being. But reminding us that we are human and that we only have a certain capacity to do things. After all, what our children will remember will not be that clean house, but the beautiful moments that pass by our side.
So do not feel bad if today did not give you time for more and you ended up ordering food at home. Enjoy that pizza, enjoy with your children those minutes you saved cooking. You are a good mom.
