A week ago, children born in 2006 started school. Many of them had previously gone to daycare and very few, at least in my city and in the school we are in, entered without knowing what a space was like to stay with other children without their relatives.
Our son Jon was one of them (I would say that he was the only one in the class) and I was surprised that both his teacher and some other education professional made faces when he learned that he had not gone to daycare.
It was then that I asked myself: Should we go to daycare to prepare for school?
The subject is not new to us. In the three and a half years that have passed since he was born we have heard from various people various arguments about how beneficial it would be for him to go to the nursery.
In fact, not only have they tried to convince us, but there are also those who have reproached us for the harm we were doing to them by not letting them into society.
Some of the dialogues we have had (well, especially my wife) with known and unknown people are:
Dialogue 1
- - Hello little one! Are you not going to school today? - No, he was born in January, until next year it is not his turn. - Oh, what a pity! Well, for a month they could have gotten it right?
This lady pretended that we had convinced those responsible for education to school our son with 2 years and 3 months because it is a shame to wait a year ...
Dialogue 2
- - Hello little one! Have you left the nursery yet? - No, he doesn't go to daycare. - Oh no? But if they do Super good, I put mine with eleven months. So they learn that they are not the center of the universe, play with other children and learn a lot.
She simply told us some benefits of taking the children to daycare.
Dialogue 3
- - Hello little one! Oops, this kid doesn't go to daycare? - Well, no. - How not? But how old is he? - Well, two. - But what are you saying? You don't know what you are doing! So he is getting used to being with you and the day he has to separate will be fatal. Children have to become independent because ... (here would go all their argument).
This lady, a teacher by profession, wanted to make my lady wife see how bad we were doing by not taking our son to daycare.
As you can see, most comments go the same way. The message comes to be: children have to go to kindergarten to prepare for school (or to prepare for life or to learn ...).
We, on the other hand, are clear (or think) that a child, the more time he spends with a person of reference who is affectionate, empathetic and who knows how to recognize and satisfy his emotional and emotional needs (in addition to physical ones, of course), the better, and if that person is his mother, then better than better.
As I said at the time, for a child to become autonomous and independent, he needs to learn to live with someone.
Once he knows the theory, he carries out the practice together with that person of reference and when he already thinks he has mastered the technique he dares to do it without the need for accompaniment or supervision.
In a nursery school you can learn in this way, being the reference person the caregiver, however there is no comparison if the child has an exclusive teacher for him and it turns out that this is also his mother.
Punset said it recently and we also discuss it here: The first six years are vital in the emotional development of children and there is a lot of literature and many social references (I speak of the Nordic countries, where maternal casualties are much longer than ours ) who advocate to accompany them, the more the better, in their first years of life.
And it's not just a matter of finding studies, books or publications that talk about it. Being with our son at home until now is something that came from within us, a decision that “the body asked for”, a sum of sensations and feelings that make us be convinced that our children have to be with us, that the egg must be incubated before opening and not, Children do not need to go to daycare to prepare for school.
However, despite our beliefs and decisions, we realize that a large part of society thinks differently (and it is no longer that they think differently, that they are respected, but that they try to convince you that you should do like them) and surprise see that education professionals also defend daycare as a method pre-school.
The teacher made an "aish" to learn that Jon had not gone to daycare and added a "He will cry, he will have a bad time" (I am still thanking him for saying it in front of him and making use of his crystal ball) and another teacher from the center, in an informal conversation, told me "Quiet, everything will be fine ... has gone to daycare, right?". "Do not", I answered. "Ah!", he replied with a grimace of "pedrín oysters, because I will not be the one to tell you, but he still does not do so well."
Total, that between one and the other you come home recapitulating and you realize that in those three and a half years nobody has told you "how lucky your son is that he has been with his mother for so long". It's not that we need it, you don't live on flattery, but it's simply surprising.
Now, a week later, many of you will wonder if he has cried, if he has adapted, how he has carried it… Well, I answer: The first day he entered happily, but came out crying (apparently he did not want to put on his robe and he did not like the idea of going out to the patio).
The second day came in line and telling us "Goodbye Dad, Goodbye Mom", moving the little hand all the way to the class (about 3 meters of children's train) and left two hours later running to hug us.
The third, fourth and fifth day (the last two were both morning and afternoon, because they had finished the adaptation period) were exactly the same, saying goodbye with the little hand saying goodbye and hugs and happiness on leaving.
Yesterday, many children who were happy on Friday came back to cry. Normal, they had spent Saturday and Sunday with their parents. I hoped that the same thing could happen to Jon, instead, he came in as happy as the other days and left the same way (even at noon, when the children who stayed in the dining room cried because they loved their moms, Jon would I refused to go home because I wanted to go to school!).
In short, all the bad omens and omens have ended up in borage water. I do not say that this has to happen with all the children who do not go to daycare, but in our personal case this has happened.
He has adapted to the school better than most of the 3-year-olds in his school (although it must be borne in mind that he was born in January, so he is the oldest), but still, I love being able to say that he is doing great despite not having gone to daycare.
PS: If I'm not mistaken, preschool is the three-year period (when children are 3.4 and 5 years old) that serves to prepare children for primary education. Preschool means pre-school, before school, then they are already preparing to go to school.
It sounds a bit absurd to say that now they have to do a previous preparation (call it nursery) so that they are prepared for the previous preparation (called preschool) of school education.
Photos | Flickr (htlcto), Flickr (kainr), Flickr (woodleywonderworks)
In Babies and more | Nursery or Classroom of two years ?, Babysitter or nursery ?, Period of adaptation yes or no ?, The great step from nursery to school, Nursery schools in the arena
