First time moms sometimes wonder if they will do well to give their baby what makes her happy or comforts her. We have received many conflicting messages that babies manipulate us, but the reality is that babies ask for what they need and they are happy and calm when we give them what they asked for. And what they usually ask for is mom for everything.
If we breastfeed: mom for everything
If we give them a tit, the tit is usually the relief of all evils. If they are sleepy, tit. If they have pain, tit. If they are hungry or thirsty, obviously that tit. If they have restlessness, need of contact or nerves, the tit works great. And is that breastfeeding is much more than food and, without a doubt, if a child does not want to breastfeed, he will take care of letting go of his chest to tell us that this is not worth it. Breastfeeding is on demand. Therefore, when he cries or is uncomfortable, the first response is arms and tit.
Babies need above all, instinctively, skin-to-skin physical contact and soothing suction. Breastfeeding naturally gives all that. But, even with the bottle we will be able to give it to him openly and freely.
If we don't breastfeed: mom for everything
If we give them a bottle, offering them the bottle does not always work as well as the tit, since the bottle always gives milk and the breast can be used for non-nutritive suction and the need for intimate contact.
AdvertisingBut anyway, bottle feeding is also on demand and a child will not eat if he does not want to eat, so offering food is an option to consider when the baby is dissatisfied.
Although some of the advantages of the breast can not replace them with the bottle if we can give attachment and love without limits. There is a solution for mothers who do not breastfeed and, without the slightest doubt, can give your children that love they need more than food itself.
Suction and contact without breastfeeding
The idea is that the bottle is not an independent object of the child's basic need, but an alternative to breast milk. That is to say, we can put the baby to the breast equally and many times the non-nutritive suction calms down with the nipple and that works even better if we let a little milk pour pouring through it, which gives the child the same calming sensation that I would breastfeed out of emotional need. We can offer the breast although we give a bottle, it is not incompatible and many babies adapt without rejecting it.
The idea I offer is that it can be shocking: offer the breast when we breastfeed. I fully understand that there are women who will not want to try, especially if breastfeeding has been a painful or traumatic experience that they do not want to relive.
But I assure you that it is possible and, even, I have met mothers who started like this and came to partially relate children who had not breastfed for months. Of course, they did it without pressure, for pleasure, and felt that part of the pleasure of breastfeeding was returning for them and their children, arriving, in some cases, to produce some milk again.
In other cases I understand that it is unfeasible. The baby does not always adjust to the breast and the nipple suction and becomes angry, also causing negative feelings to be reborn.
Or simply and simply, the mother does not want to offer her breast for reasons that no one should neither judge nor have the right to ask or question. But if babies bother with the nipple or if we do not feel comfortable offering it, understandably, there are also solutions: put skin to skin and offer an alternative suction object: the finger or a pacifier.
Of course, mom for everything
That is, for a baby, mom is the comfort for everything. If what bothers you is not solved with the tit or with the closest possible contact with another feeding method, I assure you that the baby will let you know clearly.
Anyway, mom is there and is, for a baby, the place and source of happiness. It is his skin, his smell, his look and his caresses that best calm a little boy. Mom without limitsFor that there are no norms, the only norm is to give oneself and let oneself be loved without measure with the heart and skin.
Do not worry. There is never an excess of tit. Never, of course, give breast or bottle, there will be excess mom, no excess arms, no pampering, no excess contact. You will not "bad" if you give your baby mom for everything. You will be giving him what he needs most: his mother, his natural habitat, his home, his love.
