Yesterday we published the first part of this interview in which the child psychologist Teresa Garcia He introduced us to the world of child socialization.
Today we are going to talk with her about the problems of behavior or adaptation of children in kindergarten and school, in addition to the circumstances that occur, regarding socialization and integration in the community, of home-educated children.
Why is it so common for young children to stick or bite in daycare centers?
If we ask a child of six or seven months to walk, they will tell us at least insensitive, because we are asking for a skill that he does not yet have. When we leave such young children in kindergartens, we are forcing them to have social skills. But we keep social skills in the neocortex, which is in formation until about three years. So children resort to the only thing they have, the reptilian brain, which is formed, of course reptile behaviors are not characterized precisely by being social.
We are demanding that a baby solve the fear of having his favorite toy removed, but the baby has not yet learned an ability to handle that fear. In many cases he still doesn't even speak clearly.
It's fine, but for most families, daycare centers are inevitable. What would the ideal daycare be like?
That in which the evolutionary and physical needs of children are respected.
What would be the appropriate ratio of children per educator?
The appropriate ratio is given by nature, maximum three. What we do know is that in children under two years of age, when an educator is responsible for more than eight babies, there are risks to the correct brain development of babies.
Is the adaptation period adequate in most centers? How should it be?
In most centers, definitely not. The adaptation period should allow babies to remain calm because they have already established a secondary bond with at least one educator. And that time is different for each baby.
When do children start playing with each other?
It depends on the speed of maturity of each child. There are children who already with two and a half years play with other children and there are others who until five, sometimes six, are not yet prepared. On average we could say that at four years.
Do children socialize better at school if they have gone to daycare before?
That is a myth. Socialization depends much more on the type of bond they have to have gone to daycare or not. It also depends on the information they have received about where they are going. Logically, that information should go in games and stories, since young children do not handle the logical discourse.
Is socializing with children of the same age in the classroom or playground really preparing them for a future social life?
That question certainly makes me funny. I can't help smiling every time I receive it. I ask you a question. Do you know a job where all employees are the same age? Do you know an association, a political party, in which all people are the same age?
No jobs, no political parties, some associations, but not many.
Exactly, so what future social life are we talking about? to know that there are many races, to know that there is diversity of opinions, etc. If we talk about that, yes, in school you can learn, but it is not the only place where you learn that. In fact, in the supermarket, in the park, in aikido, piano classes ... we find that diversity everywhere and in schools of course, too.
Do children, in general terms, relate well to adults?
I would ask that question backwards. As this question is written, it leads me to think that children "have to have" the ability to interact with adults. But the truth is that children learn absolutely everything from adults.
If adults have correct relationship skills with children, children will imitate them. If adults have violent abilities, children will imitate them.
Why are there bullying behaviors in schools?
That question has a long, very long answer. On the one hand there is the violent society in which we are immersed. There is also the fact that teachers rarely have training in this subject. It adds the fact that children are rarely heard in depth. The fact that punishment is used as a habitual form of discipline by teachers aggravates the fact. I say, it is a question that could be done an entire interview, and long.
Is this problem addressed correctly?
In most cases, no, because training in this type of social behavior is practically nil. For example, another child's book may appear in a child's backpack. The boy says he hasn't caught it. The adult does not know if he tells the truth or not. But as the proof is in his backpack, he punishes him. When he goes out to the street or to recess the children who put the book in his backpack laugh and threaten him. If the teacher had used a tool other than punishment, he would have avoided further humiliation. I already say this topic is very complex and has several factors.
Should we use punishment if a child behaves in an antisocial or aggressive manner?
Punishments rarely work in the sense that the adult expects, but in cases of antisocial or aggressive behavior, I will quote the words of a fellow psychologist who collaborated until he could no longer, with a family care center, here in Gran Canaria The center director used very hard punishments to suppress aggressive or antisocial behavior. And my partner said: "That is trying to put out a fire with kerosene." Even so, the director of the center continued his repression, and my partner decided to work autonomously, because it was impossible for him to bear what he was seeing.
And if he's shy, what do we have to do to help him; force it or respect its character?
This question implies that being shy is a defect, but why should we help you? This is something like asking what do we do to help a boy who has blue eyes?
Shyness is a characteristic of the person. It is so dangerous that an extroverted and talkative person works in a job that needs silence, as opposed to a silent person forcing her to work in a show. In my opinion, it is necessary to respect the diversity of characters.
What would be the ideal socialization process of a child?
The ideal is with a figure of primary attachment and several secondary ones until the child shows that he is prepared to interact with other people, children or adults. Respect your process, just as we don't force you to walk, you don't have to force yourself to socialize. Simply socialization is inevitable, all children socialize and do better the more secure the attachment they have received in the first months and years of life.
When we talk about children who are educated at home, this educational option is often accused of not providing proper socialization to children. Do you think it's true?
And who defines which socialization is correct and which socialization is not? Sorry for answering you with another question. Socialization is a very recurring theme in home schooling. Part of the ignorance. A child who learns language, math, English, etc. at home, he does not live locked up at home. The mother or father are with him and do tasks such as going to the bank, supermarket, public administrations, so that the child has a direct knowledge of our society. They also learn other activities, such as music, sports, painting ... according to the child's tastes. And logically, he plays with other children in the parks, and in some places still in the streets, although the children's play in the street is getting smaller because our cities are poorly adapted for children.
Is there any data about it?
There are several studies in this regard. To measure sociability and it was found that children who do not go to school because their parents take charge of academic instruction in the first person, socialize the same or even better in some cases, than their schoolmates. In the US there is a lot of tradition in homeschooling, and that is where you can find more studies in this regard.
What is your experience with children educated at home?
I have found children who generally know how to manage their time. They decide what to study and at what times, and as they grow they are more independent in the choice of subjects and especially in the choice of learning modes. Creativity is usually more present than in their schooling peers. Being in contact with the real society, distinguishing it from the society presented by the books, allows them to develop certain skills more quickly. For example, they talk and adapt to people their age, but also to older and younger people for more hours a day than their schoolmates.
In addition, children who have never been to school have an advantage over children who have gone some years, although those who have been in school match those who are not in this capacity, shortly after leaving school. All this in general terms of course.
Is there school failure in children who do not go to school?
The definition of school failure is not to finish the ESO, or to finish it without having acquired the basic skills. In general, this type of failure does not occur, since home-educated children acquire basic skills in direct contact with society. And in most cases, in addition to basic education, they obtain a university degree. In fact, when comparing the knowledge of school children with home-schooled children, they have competences from similar to slightly higher, or higher.
Do you recommend home schooling?
Home education is an educational alternative. It is each father or mother who has to decide what kind of education he wants for his children and based on that use the alternative that best suits them. There are parents who choose a public school, others who choose privately. Some Montessori methodology, others Waldorf methodology, others free methodology, and others that choose education at home.
With this we finish this long and, we hope, interesting andInterview with child psychologist Teresa Garcia, in which we have addressed, fundamentally, the socialization of children in their environment and in school, with special emphasis on nurseries, schools and homeschooling.
