We continue with our Maternity and paternity course and this time, delving into what we discussed in the last entry, we are going to offer you some tips that you can apply when you feel overwhelmed.
Keep calm
I know it may seem that precisely when we feel overwhelmed It is when it will be more complicated to keep calm. But it is precisely when it will be most necessary to achieve it.
Surely we want our children, when they get angry or frustrated, to know how to channel negative emotions and not scream. It is essential, then, to be able to do it or we cannot be a good model, nor teach it or, of course, demand it.
Children also need more than the control of the adult or that the adult shows them that it is he who has the control, to teach them that they can control their nerves and that the conflict situation is under control. They need that assurance that we are competent and keep calm in adversities and problems. Children need our guidance and feel confident in our ability to react.
Nothing is more negative for a child overcome by tensions than his parents lose their heads and shout at them or tell them harmful things.
So apply all the advice we have given you and keep calm, control your desire to shout and think serenely. Nothing is gained or learned or solved in the middle of an emotional storm and with a loss of control.
Talk to the children
Even very young children understand a lot of what we tell them, maybe not all the causal or logical implications or relationships, but the essence of our words. Therefore, once we have regained control of our emotions, we face the situation that overflows us and let's talk with children calmly.
Even when a three-year-old boy has a tantrum, the worst strategy is to scream. We must calm down and give the child a chance to calm himself, realizing that for him, possibly and logically, it will be more difficult than for us because of his immaturity and inexperience.
Once the child feels ready to listen to us, it is time to face the problem, talking about them with affection and respect, explaining the reasons for our position or the consequences that would have access to a request that hurts. Of course, when speaking, do not insult, make fun of the child or compare it with others. Nor can we ask him to understand concepts perhaps too abstract for him.
But if we can convey love, understanding and empathy and talk about the conflict by adapting our words to the child's ability.
The first few times may not work, even if the tantrum turns on again when thinking of her frustration, but education is not a matter of magic recipes or blind obedience, but a background race in which every step we take aim for a goal: allow our son to mature harmoniously, respect and know how to respect yourself, finding the natural limits to your desires and understanding the reasons why things will not always be as he would like.
In addition, if the tantrum or the conflict situation has occurred because we have taken the child's endurance to the limit, whether due to fatigue, hunger, sleep, boredom or emotional overflow, it may not be enough to talk if the underlying problem remains. Let's try to solve it and be self-critical. Our needs, whether tired, need rest, worries or overflow, may clash with the child's need at that time.
Address the needs of children
The way of education in harmony it goes through making the needs of all family members compatible, in respecting each other's needs and understanding them, but that is not achieved overnight.
Doing that the child grows up in an environment of respect and with their needs covered We prepare it so you can do the same with other people. We must not forget that children need things like play, shout, run, laugh, hug, express their fear and cry. And those needs, sometimes, with the rush and norms of the adult world, have little place. Let us reform our lives so that, without making a sacrifice, your child's natural needs have space. A child with his global needs covered will surely make us feel less overwhelmed as he will be happier, more confident and balanced.
The key is that, parenting is not a sacrifice, if it is, something must be changed in the way we live to achieve greater harmony. And in harmony overflowing will be much rarer and we will see less in need of look for strategies for feeling overwhelmed. However, this issue is for more and we will continue giving advice to achieve that atmosphere of happiness that we all want in our homes.
