One of the most important and interesting things that recent parents can learn is that children, our children, they will be in a large percentage the reflection of the people that we are.
"Do you want to know what the father is like? Know the son, ask him, because the children do not lie." They are our mirror, for better and for worse, so if you have a moment, do some self-examination, look inside, look for your weaknesses, your weaknesses, your complexes, your vices and your daily mistakes and be clear: if you want your child not to be like you, change you.
Do what I say, not what I do
Many parents try to educate their children with the word, with the "no" and with continuous lessons explaining what is right and what is wrong. It's the base, it's the beginning, it can be done a little better or a little better, but the word, even being powerful, is insufficient if it is not accompanied by doing, of the gesture, of nonverbal communication.
It is estimated that when someone is giving a message, the importance of their words when it comes to reaching the listener is 45% (and part of that percentage is taken by the intonation with which we say it). He The remaining 55% is attributed to body language. Try to explain to someone that you are very well, very happy, and that with your baby you sleep beautifully with downcast eyes and a gesture of extreme tiredness. They may not tell you anything, but when they talk about you, they will say, "He told me it was fine, but it's dusty."
The same happens with our children. We can talk to them and teach them many things with the word. Dialogue, in fact, is basic when educating them. But nevertheless, It does not help much if our actions do not accompany our words.
"Do what I say, not what I do" serves a few years, when they are little. To which they realize that you do not do what you preach you lose authority about the messages you gave and did not comply, and what is worse, you lose it also for future messages. And there is no worse situation between parents and children than the one in which the child does not trust his father or mother, the one in which he reproaches his father who lies, the one in which the child ends up realizing that he has more sense of ethics that one who in theory should exercise as an example.
Whatever your son is, be you
So if after looking inside you realize that you want your child to be different, that you want him to be braver, that you want him to be more able to say things, that you want him to love more than you want and that you want me to be happier than you are, change.
Change be a better person, start eating in a more balanced way so that your child does too, stop smoking, do not drink alcohol, or limit it, obsess less with petty things and spend more time on important things, try to have (more) patience , to shout less, to play more with him, to smile more, to face the problems, to take life by the horns and to stop sailing adrift from the ship that the others carry.
Do not hide, do not hide your weaknesses, do not try to bury them, because your son will discover them. Sooner or later you will see that you are not who you said you were, so change. Try to be the person you would like to be and so, in addition to being consistent with your words, you will be happier. And so, in addition to seeing the sun every morning, you will see that your son sees it too. So will be the person you always wanted to be, and better, you will be too.
