Throughout the academic year we are all very aware of the serious problem of bullying. Campaigns are made, reports are published and we are even likely to know some case closely. Bullying is "not a child's thing", and most of us are very aware that the involvement of the whole society is needed to stop this terrible scourge.
But the truth is that when summer comes, bullying is in the background: the holidays begin and we all forget about the course and what happened during it. However, experts remind us that Bullying does not rest on vacation, and our help is still essential.
We have talked about this topic with Jasnagora de Benito, lawyer, social worker and family therapist. For his work in the child protection service of the Government of Aragon, Jasnagora has known cases related to bullying in childhood, and therefore wanted to share his experience in this regard.
Why doesn't bullying rest on vacation?
"The child who has suffered bullying during the course has internalized a very negative concept of himself, based on the harassment suffered. In addition, the bully still exists in his head and occasionally appears to torment him."
In Babies and moreLess cases of bullying in 2017, although more serious and frequent: raising awareness about this terrible scourge"But regardless of the fact that we must not ignore the damage suffered, summer is a wonderful opportunity to help the child change that concept of himself. Often his mind is filled with negative thoughts, such as" I am useless "," I'm weak, "" I'm not good at anything "... and the school break offers an optimal space to introduce other more valuable thoughts that will gradually silence the negatives ".
My son has suffered bullying during the course: guidelines to help him on vacation
"It is very important that the parents of the harassed child really see that they have great power and ability to help their child; that is, that they feel empowered. If the child is very damaged, it will be advisable for a specialist to help us carry out this work, but even in these more serious cases parents continue to be the main driver for change".
- "First, improving the concept that the child has of himself. Self-esteem does not grow alone, and children build their identity based on the reactions they receive from people in their immediate surroundings. ".
"That is why, when we refer to our son, we must change the concept of" victim of harassment "to that of" resilient person. " Victims can only wait for their injustice to end, so if we look at our son with grief, as if he were a helpless being, we will be revictimizing him. "
In Babies and more "Hugo and the magic recipe": a story about bullying in young children, told from our own experience "Remember that parents are the main resource our children have to strengthen their self-esteem and empower themselves. Summer is a great opportunity to convey to our child the confidence, pride and optimism he needs. ""So that, changing our look is essential to empower our child, and for this I propose this simple exercise: "
"Think and Write five things you think your son is good at. They can be qualities that you have or things that you are very good at doing, such as drawing, swimming, cooking ... When you have that list made try to visualize your child through those qualities, and every time you look at him or talk to him, treat him thinking about everything that makes him a strong and capable person. "
"We can also strengthen your self-esteem asking for help and involvement in tasks and activities that are good for you. Another idea is to point to activities he likes and highlights, so he can see for himself how valuable it is. It is important for the child to experience success directly, because here it does not help that dad and mom tell him how good or intelligent he is: he has to prove that it is really worth it ".
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- "Another versus working is the social skills learning to help you deal with possible future harassment situations. It is of little use to tell our son how he has to act when other children bother him if we don't give him the opportunity to put those tips into practice. ".
"For this it is very useful look for a small peer group in which relationships are taken care of. I am referring, for example, to a scout group or a free time association, where the child sees that the environment that is developed there is very different from that of the school; a reduced environment, care and with adults involved in guiding the interpersonal relationships of the group members. "
In Babies and more My son is too good: how to avoid being a victim of bullying"For the child who has suffered bullying is highly positive to receive recognition from other children and be able to relate from security and trust. These are processes that feed each other, the more a child relates in a safe environment, the more their safety in the treatment will grow. ".
And what else can we do to prevent the harassment from being repeated at the beginning of the next course?
"But the prevention of bullying is not only carried out by working with the child who has suffered it, but it is also important to do so with the bully and the group, as all parties are involved in the process.".
"If our son has been the one who has harassed others, we must analyze what is behind his destructive behavior, what emotions he hides, and how we can help him empathize and develop constructive behaviors that replace the previous ones".
In Babies and more, what can we do to prevent bullying? Seven keys to educate in values"And if we have proof that our son has been part of a bullying group, it is important to work with him too, because it is essential that the group members become strong and know how to act when they witness the bullying of another classmate. , instead of standing watching or even encouraging the stalker ".
In short, far from silencing and forgetting the subject, summer offers us a wonderful opportunity to work to stop bullying and prevent these situations from reproducing at the beginning of the course.Photos | iStock
Acknowledgments | Jasnagore de Benito, author of the blog "Mami Therapy"
