I continue with my virtual soliloquy about those things you're not prepared for when you're a father, for many books you read.
If not, it is the end of the world
We could say that Frustration management by the little ones is not their strong point. I firmly believe that within each child the Dalai Lama and a patient escaped from a brakes live together. And you never know who is on duty. Its ability to go from zero to one hundred is impressive and leaves you completely out of place.
You come are accustomed to the treatment between adults, in which one is holding and holding and the glass is filling, until the day when the glass is filled and you burst. Well, in a child it is as if you are throwing the glass into a pool, what takes time to fill is what you have room to rectify your mistake.
And do not believe that this is going to be an anger that is solved with a couple of voices and a slam, no. For your son the glass has tipped over and that is the end, the end, the baby's apocalypse, the world ends and ends right now. And is that the first few times you are paralyzed and do not know if you have stepped on, pinched, if you are giving him a colic or a badger has bitten him. You take him, you look everywhere to see if he bleeds somewhere, and even you, even try to give you a reasoned explanation of the facts, told by an 11-month-old baby.
And as fast as the world moved towards its self-destruction, it slows down, dusts itself, dries its tears and continues to play. And they look at you with those eyes as clear as telling you, have you seen that prettier stone? And you on the verge of a heart attack do not know if you are going to arrive alive in the summer. But you intuit that of course, with these scares you take it complicated.
Glued gifts
There is a very simple way to know if a gift your child liked or not. If he does not take it off or to sleep and is willing to get inside the washing machine so as not to separate from it is that you have been right with the gift. Now it only remains to know how to succeed to take him off at least in the bathroom.
The magpie complex
The magpie is a bird that has a habit of collecting bright things. That is what happens with your son, if something shines he will be hopelessly attracted to the object, if in addition to shining it has sound the attraction is double and if it can be pressed, you are lost.
The Chamberlain's Choice
One of the privileges enjoyed in that tender age is to allow yourself to choose who or what helps them in their worldly chores and thus every day a new choice. And so we have typical family scenes like: - Come and put on your shoes. - No, mom. - But if I always put them on you - No! Mom. - Mom can't put your shoes on now. - Only mom. You do not. You out! And so begins the children's version of "with you no bug" and you are stunned watching the one that the little one rides you as you even try to approach him with a shoe. - That mom can't, she's deactivating an explosive device! - Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !! Or what is the same, the world can already stand up that only my mother puts on my shoes.
And now what do I do?
Oh well, it's true. If it breaks, yes
Now I understand why in my and my parents' time the toys were metallic or solid wood. And it is a tremendous grace that they continue to have a two-year guarantee. Two years? Not even two months! The only toys that have lasted more than two years have been those that have not been ignored. And even the oldest has a pass, but the little one has less toys than unions between celebrities.
The infallible locator for everything you don't want to teach in public
One of the things you do not learn, also because nobody notifies you until it is too late, is to check the bag or drawers in the room to remove any compromising object. Because if there is one sure thing, it is that the belongings of your bag sooner or later will appear scattered around the living room sofa as if they had been seized in a police raid.
The last occurrence at home was to line the walls of the bathroom with compresses. And the problem is not that they do it, the problem is that it is your mother-in-law who tells you about the state of the bathroom.
Leave your critical spirit for the intimacy of the couple
That neighbor who is more tired than a cow in her arms, that shopkeeper who sings her snuff more than a trailer of onions, the brother-in-law who always drinks your best wine, etc. All that is very good, but it is better that you do not share it with anyone in front of your children because you have a 90% chance that the child will release it in front of the above at the first exchange rate. Go preparing a more or less honorable exit for these cases.
They don't sleep, they disconnect
The deep sleep of babies is the closest thing to the Mariana Trench that you could find, it is not that it is deep, it is that it is unfathomable. There is only one problem and that dream is likely to last only half an hour. Maybe even less. But while it lasts you can leave the kid on top of the acoustic screens of a rock concert that won't wake up. Is it perhaps why after night they get up at six in the morning as if they had slept three days in a row?
These have been some examples and as we know, every child is a world, so it is possible that none of this has happened to you or will happen to you. I hope at least you had a good time.
