You don't like to be talked to from above? Get up to your son: the active listening method

We do not usually notice it, but children spend half childhood having to look up to establish eye contact with the elderly. The reason is obvious: they are smaller and adults are taller, so they end up getting used to that position of superiority of the adult. And logically, although children are not yet able to express it, nobody likes to be talked to from above.

Children have no option to save that height difference (they will not be climbing tables and chairs every time we talk to them) But, What if we are the adults who best adapt to them by putting us at the same height? It is known as parenting method active listening and it is very effective in communicating with our children with empathy, in an open and positive way.

What is the active listening method?

The Active listening method is a communication technique based on the work of Carl Rogers used in fields such as nursing, psychotherapy, conflict resolution and parenting.

In 2002, Rost defined it as "a generic term to define a series of behaviors and attitudes that prepare the receiver to listen, to concentrate on the person speaking and to provide answers (feedback)".

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Show availability and interest in the other person. A way to show empathy and say "I understand what you feel." On the one hand, the speaker makes sure that the listener has understood him, but not only based on verbal communication, but also on the nonverbal language: the gestures, feelings, ideas or thoughts that underlie what is being said.

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Get up to it and look into your eyes

The gesture is very simple and the emotional benefits for children are huge. It is as simple as bending over, putting yourself at the same height and looking into your eyes.

It is incredible the power of looking people in the eyes, and of course much more if it is our children. It is a way of showing them that you open up to communication, which you set at the same level to help you, whether you have a tantrum, need an explanation or want to tell him how much you love him.

It is a way of validating the other, even if you don't agree with what he says. We may have different opinions, but we understand and we give value to what he tells us. In addition, the child feels safer and calmer. He is not trying to get our attention by other means, because we actively demonstrate that we are focused on what he wants to express to us.

Not only is verbal communication established, but also gestural. Getting up to it you can also detect how it feels, if you are angry, if you cry, if you feel frustrated, and try to fix it. It is a way to be open to communication, to allow the child to express their needs and feelings.

The way to communicate with our children is leaving a mark on his personality and as they grow, it also influences the way they relate to other people. If we want empathic children, we must be empathic with them since they are young.

The method that Prince William uses

If you have noticed many of the photographs starring Prince William and his son Jorge, in the majority, the father is squatting talking to his little.

This is how we saw him at the christening of his little daughter, Carlota, in a photo with President Obama, during his visit to Kensington Palace, and most of all, a video that has gone viral in which Queen Elizabeth II gives a touch of attention to the prince for skipping the protocol during the air parade of the Armed Forces on the occasion of the 90th birthday of the monarch: "Stand up William" (stand up, Guillermo), the monarch scolded his grandson.

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