A couple of days ago I saw some parents with a baby a few weeks in the nursing office. I asked them if they were going out every day to give a weight with the baby, so to break with the routine of the house and as a recommendation for the synthesis of vitamin D in contact with the light of day and they replied that they were leaving little, and not all the days because they were still receiving many visitors at home.
Minutes later the mother asked me how the anti-colic remedies worked, those of chamomile, lime, fennel and those mixtures so that the baby is calmer in the belly and of course, I explained that very likely one thing was a consequence of the other and that they would have to start avoid annoying visits because the baby, what he needs, is calm.
Do you visit annoying?
Yes, I said that. There are visits that do not bother and others that do. Every relationship is a world, every family is a world and when a baby is born, he has his mother and father, but also his grandmothers and grandparents, his uncles, cousins, etc. Everyone, or most, want to see the baby and, if there is a more or less friendly and respectful climate among all of them, the issue can still be overcome, but if the mother's family does not get along with the father's, or if the mother-in-law, or that if the father-in-law, or that if ... sometimes they go into stories of "they have come to see the child four times and hey, we only three", "they stayed until almost night and we told us that we had to leave before because you were going to bathe him "and this can lead to a terrible competition in which the worst unemployed will be the baby, that poor thing is not able to say enough, and the parents, who try to keep all the parties involved happy.
But you can't live like this
But no, one thing is to invite the family one day and another very different to invite themselves (This, and I am a bit sarcastic, should be prohibited by some kind of law: "The family will not be allowed to come by surprise and play the intercom without warning"). One thing is that they stay for a little while, see the baby and spend all a time together and another that come, stay the whole afternoon, walk with the baby from one side to another, make him nervous, make the mother nervous, you are trying to meet and look good, you almost have to throw them out of the house because they do not leave with boiling water and then the baby, at bedtime, be crying because you have not taken it out for a little while and because it is on the nerves with so much strange voice, so much unrecognizable smell and so many outside arms.
The baby and the family need calm and time
No one has studied to be a mother or to be a father and all the reference we have is the little time we have spent with other recent mothers and what we imagine. It seems that this being parents is wonderful, all as if we lived all three, suddenly, in a cloud of cotton and that babies are the richest things in the world. And more or less they are, but the cotton cloud makes me doubt, because raising a baby is very hard, very demanding on a physical level and very demanding on a mental level. The change is radical, the baby is born and almost 24 hours a day revolve around him, because suddenly you have to take care of a person who needs you almost at all times and who also has very demanding demands and a minimal patience
Parents have to know their baby and the baby has to know them. Little by little they have to start communicating, to understand each other, to know how to relate. Understand the crying, know how to calm him down, be able to whisper, be able to sing, be able to put music on him, have peace and tranquility to start the road together and accompany you in what you call life, learning together and at the same time.
How are they going to know each other if people keep coming to interfere? Imagine you just met a girl and every time you stay with her she comes with her whole family: "Arrgggghhhh!" Well, that same, more or less, is what a baby can feel if that happens often, what happens is that he tells you at night, when you want him to be calmer, at that moment he bursts, he can't take it anymore, he opens the escape valve and says "Arrggghhhh! When will we finally be alone?".
