More than 50 horrible phrases that can be told in a hospital when you're going to give birth and you'll never forget

When two weeks ago we published our vision of the doctor's letter that explained how good it is to give birth in hospitals and how bad it is to give birth at home we wanted to make it clear that much of the blame is on professionals who care for women.

Of course there are committed, respectful and knowledgeable that the woman is the one who has to make the decisions regarding her birth; I am convinced that it is the most common. But there are others, as apparently this professional, who think differently and believe that, because they are the ones who hold the titles, they are the ones who can and should always do what they consider best, even against the wishes of women (and often against what is considered adequate in a delivery).

The response on our part to our post was a brief insult to my person, or what is the same, a close eyes to a reality (that of women fleeing from hospitals) that could go further if there are those who keep trying so women, if they continue to infantilize them, making them think they are silly and, above all, if they keep telling them some of the 50 horrible phrases they can tell you in a hospital when you're going to give birth.

These are phrases that no woman would forget and that we have extracted from the Facebook page "Enough of Obstetric Violence", as well as from some women who have wanted to share them to make this post.

More than 50 phrases and events that should never have been pronounced or happened

My baby was admitted with a malformation in neonates when the medical body approached me asking: 'Tell us the truth: what do you do with drugs?' I still remember and it makes me want to cry.

Don't wake me up at 3 in the morning to tell me you have contractions. Call me when you've already dilated.

If you don't calm down, your daughter will die inside you. Do you want your daughter to die? It is not so much. I have had three children and I didn't scream like you.

In neonates, when I met my daughter for the first time and I wanted to give her a tit, the nurse told me: 'Ah, but you have flat nipples, you can't.' And he left without helping me.

You have a fibroid, it will be caesarean section. It comes to three thousand pesos and depending on how the myoma is, I take out your uterus. Total, you already have three children.

Well, let's see ... you're starting to lose it, see? It is disintegrating. Don't get upset (today your daughter is 2 years old).

If it doesn't come out in the next contraction, I cut you.

Now I put oxytocin and in a while you have it.

Before going to the operating room we will see if there are beats, because after the baby is born dead and the doctor's fault.

Look, if you want me to take care of you, it's going to have to be by caesarean section before October 10, because I travel later, I'm going to my daughter's wedding.

In the delivery room, when the obstetrician tied my legs and forced me to bed and I told him that we had agreed that I would be sitting, he said: 'Now I command.'

Your contractions are crap.

And how are you going to be without anesthesia? Are you going to be calm? Because I want my ears healthy.

Won't you be the ones who abuse the medication and that's why the delivery was advanced?

You are giant, are you going to get what you have in your belly down there?

'I am not to explain you, I am to cure you.' 'But I'm pregnant, not sick.'

You are green, what a pity. It was going to be a beautiful birth, but I don't take risks; Don't even think that you can choose the date of the caesarean section.

So you don't want peridural? Well, I put it the same whether you like it or not, and if I want you will go to caesarean section… and I also use forceps, eh?

'Look dad, I left you a kilometer zero,' he said to my partner after finishing sewing.

No, I'm going to give him a bottle. You don't have milk, you have colostrum, and that doesn't feed it.

I know why it doesn't come down. I don't know if what you have inside doesn't come down because it's a Down.

Without shouting, you're not in the butcher shop.

I schedule a C-section because if you start labor at night I don't have all the lights just awake. You don't want someone asleep to assist you, right?

Shut up or I sleep you whole.

In my first pregnancy, entering the hospital door and just when I get to where the midwife is and asks me my name (and I don't know what else), I just get a contraction, so I stop and try to take a deep breath and grab myself to my partner to better withstand the pain ... to what the midwife grabs me by the arm and tells me abruptly: 'Come, come, that you all do the same to me, it is not so bad and I do not have all day' .

You are one of those who do not delay.

You are doing everything wrong.

'I come because I'm in labor.' 'And what will you know? We'll go if you're in labor or not. '

The Spanish shout a barbarity. The best are the Chinese, who do not say even mu.

You have a more closed neck than a doll's ass.

Think well if you want a vaginal delivery. If you come to me with fears and you are going to get hysterical that day, we better schedule a C-section.

As soon as they entered the parlor they told me 'You will know how to push, right?' My contractions were paralyzed, I got blocked and they had to do an episiotomy that then sewed badly.

Stop crying that you will be left with the scar (caesarean section) in zigzag.

While you made it, you sure didn't complain so much, huh?

As you have gained so much weight I will not be able to put on your epidural so give birth ...

You have no liquid, your baby is very large and will not come out, so we will not even try. Besides, you are not in labor. (Weighed 3,400 kg and was 41 weeks).

The anesthetist before putting on the epidural: 'Keep your composure a little, daughter.' A while later, crying because they told me that I shouldn't have any more children, the same anesthetist approaches and says: 'Well, daughter, I don't know why you want more, I have one and at times I have plenty'.

I don't know what the hell you've learned in preparation for childbirth because you don't know how to push.

While I was sewing the tear, without anesthesia, when I noticed it, I threw myself back in reflex and the gynecologist said to me: "I will sew you by hook or by crook, you will see." In the same delivery: "What little tolerance to pain you have, right?" I asked them to close the window because it gave me a shiver and the midwife said to me: "Well, it is hot and we are working."

The little night you're going to give me complaining so much. But girl, what to push or push, that you still have between 9 and 10 hours. Fuck with the firsts (a few minutes later my baby began to poke his head).

Since you don't stop vomiting, I can't get you the child!

When you behave, I'll let you go to the sink; that you are suffering I am glad, it means that we are doing well; look that you already knew what the contractions were and you repeat again ... you don't learn!

What do you want girl, is that so or what did you expect? Of course it hurts.

Stop screaming and all the strength you take it out of my pussy !; What the hell are you doing to have the bed as you have it (my bag had broken).

If in an hour the RAJO does not take it out. This one does not fuck my vacation!

The ones that you bring birth plan all you do is that everything goes wrong.

"Today I am being generous and I am giving you a little help to all" and zas! Hamilton maneuver without asking.

In the middle of my caesarean section the gynecologists sing in unison: "We are the death team".

You do not know how to bid, bid down not up! Does he want his child drowned?

I do not care, or fashions or caralos, the next I put enema, to clean the shit his mother.

While they were exploring me, in full birth and after a broken bag at home, between the gine and the resident: 'Hamilton?'. 'Yes, done.' And me, what is that? 'Ah, nothing, nothing, a very pretty thing.'

As I didn't put on my epidural, the nurse told me when I got to the room and brought me the pain relievers: 'There you are. And if you don't want to drink them either, do what you want too. '

During the last moments of the dilation, the pain was indescribable, horrifying. I was shouting for the epidural that I had refused a thousand times before, and the gynecologist said to me: "You didn't want to give birth? Well, you're going to give birth." Then they made me a Kristeller that I no longer had the will to refuse, the pain multiplied every time I was tortured that way, and I screamed even more. The gynecologist who was doing it told me to shut up for God's sake, that I would leave her deaf. When I saw that they were preparing for episiotomy, I told them no, that I did not consent and from there they began to call me "Sandrita, la no" (not to caesarean section, not oxytocin, not episiotomy ...). When my girl was finally born, the phrase was: "What peace, the shouting is finally over" "There are all the other mummies you have bundled with."

They forced me to take oxytocin yes or yes. Before, if I am not mistaken, they put it in a drink and I "baited" juices even though I told them I didn't want more. They just needed to put a funnel to serve them at ease.

They also forced me to put on the epidural because according to the doctor I would not be able to give birth without her. Detail that his recommendations were rather impositions because of the high tone of voice in which he told me.

Then, just after giving birth, it turns out that one of those who put me in the delivery room tells me: "YOU HAVE ALREADY FUCKED THE DAY" (I say it in capital letters because it was recorded forever) because it was precisely the shift change.

As if that were not enough, the doctor who attended to me told me to shut up and stop screaming that it was not so bad and when he takes me out the girl he gives it to the new shift and she pirates !!!!! As if selling cookies come on! Result: they left me placenta inside and an infection that made me be between life and death for almost a month admitted to the hospital with the tragedy of not being able to breastfeed my daughter and all the sequels that we already know that entails the separation mother son.

I honestly felt like a pig entering the slaughterhouse attended by psychopaths free of any hint of conscience and empathy. Is that the welfare state in which we are supposed to live? I would have given birth happier in the forest next to the little animals that were not in that dreary place, full of incompetent and human garbage.

The trauma that women are subjected to is an abuse that has to be cut down from the roots, and if my testimony is useful, I think it will help me heal a lot of the pain that these "scoundrels" left in print.

Still happening today

I do not say more. Everyone who draws their own conclusions. Many mothers have told me that they had nothing bad to say about their births ... That should always be the case. However, you see. In a moment we have achieved more than 50 different phrases. In many cases I have not added the comments because they were already repeated.

Many things have to change, but many, so that women can trust professionals if they can find something like that, so they don't feel the need to run away from hospitals to be able to have a birth without being mistreated, and so that many midwifery professionals do not decide to run away from hospitals too, with the intention of being able to attend as they feel they should.

These phrases are said in a few seconds, but they remain in memory for the rest of life; Sometimes every birthday of the baby is the anniversary of an event that should have been wonderful and turned out to be painful, traumatic, outrageous, stressful and disabling: no woman should cry remembering her birth because of an impotence, little empathic attention and nothing close. And it keeps happening.

And is that professionals sometimes only take into account that they attend dozens of deliveries every week, when for women they are almost unique experiences that will remember, for better or worse, forever.