The post of a family man on Facebook has gone viral after commenting on his position on the responsibilities of mom and dad at home, in which recognize the work of mothers and invites parents to also give the luxury of rest to their wives during the weekend.
Times have changed, there is no doubt about that. We see it in each publication of parents valuing the work that their wives do at home and with their children, we see it in the changes that are in gender roles: now we see working mothers and parents who stay at home taking care of their children. No doubt the maternity stereotypes that were decades ago have evolved.
A few days ago, Dale Partridge, an American writer and blogger, posted on his Facebook page a photograph of his wife with her baby accompanied by a message that quickly went viral. In the text recognizes the work that his wife does during the week serving and taking care of him and his children, and how wives they also deserve a break, even though they don't work outside the home.
She spends all week serving me and the children. I spend the whole week taking care of the accounts. Most men think it is a fair exchange, but I doubt it. Husbands, we have no more right than our wives to a weekend of rest. The "family provider" badge does not authorize us to escape our obligations when Saturday and Sunday arrive. The luxury of rest is a gift that many men steal from their women every weekend. Remember, the 40-hour work week is a cultural standard, but God tells us to share the burden of our wives and protect them from exhaustion. It's okay to rest, God even commands it, just make sure you're not the only one doing it.
In his publication, which now has more than 100,500 likes and 5,000 comments, Dale mentions a belief or custom that has been maintained for decades: as dad works away from home but not mom, dad deserves rest on weekends. But, Times have changed and home roles have evolved.
The roles of mom and dad: before vs. now
Gone are the times when women took care of everything in the home, from preparing meals for the day, cleaning the house and taking care of the children. Before it was expected that when arriving after work, the house would be impeccable, the children like angels and dinner would be ready by the time Dad entered through the door. As soon as he set foot inside the house, his rest began and there was nothing else to worry about. He could spend time with the children or just sit and relax in front of the television the rest of the afternoon.
Instead, mom's job never ended. Unlike an office schedule, work at home does not allow rest days. There will always be clothes to accommodate and dishes to wash. The children had to be cared for and fed equally, regardless of whether it was Saturday, Sunday or Monday.
Surely there are homes in which many of these routines and customs prevail, which I personally think are not bad at all if a balance or equilibrium is reached in which both can enjoy rest periods. For me, the responsibility and work of raising children is the same on both sides.
Fortunately, I had to live in a time when it is no longer bad for a woman to work outside or choose to stay at home. And that if a father decides to stay at home to take care of his children, he is no less worthy as a man. From my perspective everything has always been very clear: we both had a baby, we both took care of him.
Rest in mothers is not only important, it is vital
Having a newborn at home represents a momentous change in a woman's life. The first months of a baby are extremely demanding and most moms are too tired after birth to be able to take the whole package together: children, couple and home. It is here that the participation of the spouses comes in and what Dale's publication refers to. Dad is also responsible for the care and upbringing of the children.
A good rest in the first months after a baby is born can be the difference for mother and child to have a good or bad experience. Caring for a baby is not easy. There are tears, demands and many, but many diapers. Asking for help is not only a good idea, it is necessary not to lose your mind. That dad gets up at night to take care of the crying baby is not to help the mother, is to take responsibility for her son. Justifying himself with the fact that he works and mom does not, is not a valid pretext to leave the entire burden to her.
On other occasions we have talked about the now famous maternal burnout syndrome: when moms reach the limit of effort, extreme fatigue builds up on them and they simply cannot do more. The wear and demand of work and activities we do as mothers can lead us to overcome, and it is that housework never ends.
When you do not rest, the risk of postpartum depression is present
I am sure that a restful and happy mother is a better mother. No one can work productively when they are tired. Surely we have all gone to school or work unveiled or tired from having worked late. Do you remember how it feels? It is a heaviness and a discouragement that invades you, in which all you want is to touch your bed again to replenish those missing hours of sleep and receive that deserved rest.
Imagine now feeling that day after day without stopping. It is to go crazy or depressive. There will come a point where exhaustion is so much that one day you feel the imperative need to resign. That is why it is important that moms have their rest time and do not feel alone. Feeling alone or without support can also greatly influence the baby's mood. Remember that if you feel this way, you should ask for help. To your partner, your mother, your mother in law or your friends. But don't shut up. You are no less mother to accept that there are days we cannot with children. We are human, not robots.
As a wife and mother I join the list of women who applaud Dale's post. Well, I know that many times the work of a mother is not valued, because for many what is simply "caring for the children" for us is the care, food and education of those who will be good men and women tomorrow.
Photos | iStock and katgrigg on flickr
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