A little over a month ago we published an interview full of feelings and truths about infertility, conducted at Helena Fernandez, the president of the National Infertile Network Association.
There was a lot we all learned from his words, so when they sent me this video talking about it, I didn't hesitate for a moment to share it so that I could reach more people better. And not only to couples who cannot have children, but especially to those people who have not had problems to be parents.
And is that "Infertility stopped my life" It is an indispensable video so that we can know and understand, all, the feelings that couples, and especially women, they have when they can't get a baby.
This pregnant woman is not me ...
The video reviews several of the everyday situations in which a woman who does not manage to become a mother comes to pass, and how little by little, as time passes and the bad news is happening, it begins to avoid awkward moments already the people they feel uncomfortable with.
In Babies and more The 11 most frequently asked questions about infertility answered by an expertThat ask them when, when they miss the rice, the "I hate weddings" that says so much in so few words, and even all the family situations in which there are children everywhere and to which they may prefer not to go.
A lot of feelings that are yours and that they have every right to feel and even express, and why others should strive to understand, without judging, offering love and support, in case after reaching out to them, they decide to take it; in case we can offer you a hug and they want to receive it.
It is our obligation, that of everyone, to try to understand how hard something like this can become. That is why I want to end this post by citing Helena's words, when I asked her how it could be the moment when a couple realizes that, despite all the efforts, means and hopes, the desired baby does not arrive:
When the years pass, when you have gone through different assisted reproduction treatments, when the tests do not say anything else, when the checking account is shaking because we do not forget that these treatments are terribly expensive and in many cases they are not covered by Social Security , when you are exhausted and you feel that you can no longer ... When you reach that point, several things can happen.
There are women, couples, who still find themselves in that situation of physical, psychological and economic exhaustion cannot consider stopping. Others, on the other hand, feel that they cannot do more, that it is over. That the next treatment will be the last treatment. And if it doesn't work, they will say goodbye to the search and start a new path, learning to live without a child.
That moment is terrible. Terrible because you are already exhausted, because you can no longer. You have no strength. And even then, you have to start crafting a new duel. The final duel The final farewell to that search and that son.
You have to take a deep breath and say, "So far we have arrived. We have tried everything. We cannot do more. Now, we have to learn. We will learn to stop searching. We will learn not to have children. We will learn to smile again. We will learn to return to live".
Many times we talk about battles, fighting, and I want to make something very clear. Stop fighting, deciding to stop looking for a child is not losing the fight. It is not losing the war. It is not giving up.
Making the decision of "So far, I can not anymore", is one of the bravest decisions that couple will surely make in their lives.
In Babies and more "The worst thing about infertility is feeling like a mother and not having a baby," we talked with Eva M. Deiros about the hard path of infertility
