As I commented a few days ago when I reflected on worried moms and quiet moms, dads also sign up for one of these trends when looking after their children: there are worried or suffered parents and calm parents.
Ideally, dads and moms should complement each other so as not to be totally suffered or totally calm, but especially to avoid the occasional shock. Because it seems to me that it will be quite difficult to continually face two ways of caring for babies.
The example I gave regarding my coworker is quite clear. She insists that I put a jacket on the baby, wash her hands, change her place, that if she won't be cold… Questions that I am raffling politely. But I've only seen her for a while at work with the baby.
Can you imagine what it has to be if we were together a whole day or a weekend? Surely neither my answers would have been so kind nor would she have stayed so out of the question. That is what I imagine has to happen when a calm dad and a worried mom come together at home or vice versa.
The confrontation is inevitable, although surely over time the differences are limited for the good of the couple, and of the baby, of course. It is what we can call a process of "mutual contagion", and also of learning, which is carried out in common when a new member arrives in the family.
Everyone, to a greater or lesser extent, I think we do when raising a child and not just in matters of concern or tranquility. It is also reaching unwritten agreements at the time of style to dress the baby or decide the best bath time by giving two quite trivial examples.
What to do if we collide?
If the father is worried and the mother is calm or vice versa, I think that the fundamental thing to avoid continuous confrontations would be put oneself in the place of the other as far as possible. Understand what the other's reasons are for being so worried or so calm. Or, if they don't understand each other, at least listen to them.
Speak with sincerity (the key to any relationship) of what worries us or is indifferent, giving our reasons. And, when I say talk, I say listen, because making deaf ears like someone who hears a river pass is worthless.
And the most important thing I think is to think and realize that both act that way because They think it's the best for your child. That is why it may be appropriate to give in to the wishes of the other on more than one occasion.
If in the couple we have the different extremes, going from simple suffering or tranquility and reaching obsession on the one hand and unconsciousness on the other, the clash is assured and there is a minefield in the daily course of the relationship. We will have to soften postures if we do not want to engage in a pitched battle.
Are there more worried dads or quiet dads?
I do not believe that worry or tranquility are determined by gender. Although in my environment I know more cases of calm parents, I think that the parents concerned may be equally numerous as a result of your comments. This leads me to remember a fun "classification" of the different types of parents in the pediatrician's office.
Because the "internet dad", the one who has a list of symptoms he has seen on the internet would be an example of a worried dad, just like the "suffering dad". These are those who care to read and look for all the possible information to know, not only the development of the baby (in this I sign up, I think it is important and in its fair measure very beneficial) but also any anomaly that they think and that There really isn't.
At the other extreme, we would have the "statue father" who says nothing or the "father sent", who goes to the emergency room because his wife insists that according to him, the son is nothing wrong. They are going very quiet. Now, you can go quiet due to ignorance or because you have already been through a similar situation and the symptoms are not serious ...
What profile of parents abounds more? Honestly, I wouldn't know how to say it, the matter may be fairly distributed and be the best to complement the worried and calm moms, which I think we are also distributed ...
Anyway, the nuances are multiple, and as in any classification, our partners and ourselves may enroll in one or the other extreme depending on what situations. For example, I can be calm if today my son doesn't have much appetite but I worry about his hands being clean at all times.
But without any doubt we all know examples of worried dads and quiet dadsWhat do you think is the most common?
Photos | Ed Yourdon (Flickr), jeanine & preston on Flickr In Babies and more | In the maternity plant: types of dads and moms, Types of families
