In Peques y Más it is a pleasure to introduce you to Carlos Andreu. He is married to Alicia and is the father of five children: Alvaro, Leyre, Marta, Almudena and Mariola. He was the first speaker of the VIII edition of El Chupete 2012 where Carlos, who presented himself as coach, consultant and fatherHe answered the questions that several children asked him and also filled the room with motivation and optimism.
Carlos is a Master in Business Administration and Management (MBA) from IESE - University of Navarra. He also has a law degree from the University of Zaragoza. He is a regular professor at Spanish universities such as Navarra, CEU, Antonio de Nebrija and Business Schools such as IESE-IRCO, San Telmo International Institute, The Ibercaja Center, etc. He is also a visiting professor at other universities such as the Andes in Chile or the Latin American in Mexico. At the beginning of his professional career, he held commercial management positions in industrial supply distribution companies. After seven years at Iter Consultores, he currently directs his own consulting, training and development company. He is the author of the best seller "From the coffin to the kite" (Ed. Vice versa) of which eight editions have already been published.
Coach, Consultant and Father. What does this mix of concepts mean?
It means a slightly chaotic and balancing life if one wants to reach everything. In the end everything is very aligned with what has to do with development and education. Try to get the best out of people whether they are these professionals, or your children. Edmundo D'Amicis said that the most beautiful thing a man can say after "father" is "teacher." I am very lucky, to make a living helping other people to improve as people and as professionals comforts a lot, and to be able to assume the responsibility of leaving this world a little better for my children and thanks to them, well, almost nothing.
What are the concerns of children between 5 and 12 years old?
I think that basically at that age they are curious. It is the age to ask everything, to want to know everything. It is the age at which you realize that they were born with things that you did not even imagine. Look how they are handled in that age with technology (phones, smartphones ...) and we hardly understand that the video could be programmed. It is the time when we must instill in them as good as we can. All the virtues and values that you will never forget. Although at 14 with adolescence they enter the rebellion and seem to have forgotten, these things will be etched in their hearts. In those years they are like sponges. If we teach you the value of responsibility, companionship, generosity, humility, forgiveness, you will never forget them.
They are critical years in the education of our children.
It is possible to be friends with children
Sure, but we can't forget "being parents." Children need a reference of authority, but gained from trust, from that "friendship" for which you ask me. The more time we dedicate to our children, the more friends of his will be, but we cannot forget that they need the father and mother figure as responsible for their development and as referents in their maturation towards adolescence.
How children can be motivated
I think the question would be "How not to discourage them?"
A 7 year old is motivated "as standard". It has a load of illusion, of desire, of strength far above the common.
Anything excites you. From small children children prefer to play with the wrapping than with the gift, because they can create things, imagine that it is a ship, a plane, that flies. They usually go to school delighted, wanting to make new friends, to meet new teachers, to learn new words, new concepts, to go on excursions. Adults must learn from them. We are told: "Tomorrow we will go to the beach", and we only see problems: it will be bad weather, there will be traffic jams, there are jellyfish, etc. Children before the same announcement prepare their backpack, do not sleep almost.
The important thing is that we know how to take advantage of that inner strength that they have to instill good habits and to be able to face the world they have left to live with that same enthusiasm and energy with which they were born. Without losing an apex. And in that the example does a long time. If we remain excited, expectant, motivated by things, they will be too.
How parents can reconcile professional and personal life
The million dollar question!. It's hard. Definitely. There are “macro” things that should change, such as measuring more for results than for “heating the chair,” but each of us can do little things to work on that reconciliation. Keep in mind family things as much or more than work, small details such as an unexpected call, bring some candy home for the family after work, have moments of total disconnection (not having blackberry on the dinner table , or from a certain time). It is a game of balancers. Always on the tightrope. But surely we can all find small details like these: tell a story to the children in bed every day, or once a week, each depending on their possibilities. Or leave them a note upon waking on the bedside table if one had to leave before home time.
How the use of technology is impacting on children's education
It's the big dilemma, because we don't have "results." It is clear that technology opens up an immense world of possibilities in education. Imagine that on a tablet we can have EVERYTHING. That is very much. But it also implies a great responsibility especially in the houses. Parents are not always trained in these issues. We do not know what is on the Internet and what positive resources we can find. Because there are also negatives.
As parents we must be trained to help our children in this navigation, absolutely necessary, and so unknown to us.
Magazines like yours can do a great job spreading content, sites on the Internet that can help parents to train themselves, or to activate resources for their children.
Do you think it is necessary to control the use of the Internet by children
Definitely. A child with 5 or 6 years does not know what is right and what is wrong. That is why having a filter is necessary. The ideal would be that we could teach children to handle with freedom and of course with responsibility. But we cannot ask that of a 6-year-old child, for example. And on the Internet there are contents that can really harm a 6-year-old child. That is why I believe that control of both content and time is necessary.
It is very good for a child to have a specific schedule for the use of technology. That you access the Internet X time a day and do not make the Internet the center of your day. Children need to connect with other children, interact, face to face, touching, talking, playing physically. That helps them to develop better, to break problems of shyness and sociability. Without closing the doors to the Internet we cannot forget that we are social beings and as such we need to socialize and that at the moment is infinitely better physically than virtually. As they say in a movie, life is better in company. And much better in physical company, of course.
Why are so many technical skills taught in schools but little or no emotional intelligence
Perhaps because it is a fairly novel thing and the changes in education are very slow.
Although it is very proven that self management will be the key skill in the future.
That ability to self-motivate, self-control, self-know and know our own and others' feelings and act accordingly will be essential for anyone.
As it is clear that it is important and I do not like to clear balls, if the schools do not teach it, we will have to teach it to the parents, which is our responsibility. So we will have to train ourselves to transmit to the children those capacities that are important for their life. We must instill in them the value of effort, of postponing compensation for a greater future good, of knowing how to interact with other people, of managing our emotions correctly. And in all this there is a fundamental vital tool that is the example. If we do it, our children will too.
What recommendations do we have to make to our children so that they adapt to the future and unknown world we face?
I believe that above all, do not be afraid. That they be brave, that they dare to fulfill their dreams, that they do what they like (as long as it is good) because that will make them really happy. As much as what lies ahead seems to be wrapped in a nebula, everything will be reduced to four basic things: your family, your work, your friends and relationships and your relationship with yourself (physical, mental, spiritual, etc.). If we teach them to take care of these four aspects of life (I insist again on the example as an educational resource) they will be able to be clear about their priorities in life. And that is already a powerful weapon to face the future with guarantees.
What practical lessons can parents put into practice with your works?
Do not!. Any. I do not teach anyone anything. Maybe I do remind him of things he has already heard and that he has forgotten or that he needed someone to remember or rivet. Many things are common sense, but it seems that if someone tells you "in a jacket and tie, on a stage and you do not know before" you will pay more attention. These are basic things: having your priorities clear, knowing what you want to do in your life, finding the reasons that move you and that will help you keep fighting every day, see the positive part of life, understand that this is a path and that we have to enjoy each of the steps we take. Common sense.
We give the thanks to Carlos Andreu for his generosity and ease to have been able to conduct the interview and share with us part of your experience. In addition, we leave the link to your web page from which you can learn more about Carlos's work, his works, his blog full of recommendations and especially his videos on YouTube in which he exposes with passion and motivation how to face the challenges that appear in our lives.
