These days thousands of parents from all over Spain are on the road visiting several schools and then marking as the first option the one they like the most. In the schools they take guided tours, sometimes while the children are in school (it is when a parent can best see how they work) and sometimes when the children are gone (problem, because you do not see anything and you have to imagine it).
After the visits, a parent meeting is usually held with a person responsible for expressing doubts and, as in some of the schools they tend to magnify some things that they do well and minimize some things that do not do so well, many parents who seek a school where education is respectful, where do not use punishment but dialogue, where there are few duties but a lot of motivation and where children participate a lot and feel comfortable, they have a difficult choice.
For these parents, for parents who are not sure how respectful a school is with children, with their learning rhythms and with their needs, I leave a litmus test for educators: Ask them what they do when two twin brothers are enrolled.
Asking about punishments
Obviously, the best way to know how they act in conflict is to ask them about them, if they punish the children, if they use the "thinking chair", if they expel them out of class, if they put copies as before, if ...
Most likely, they respond honestly, but they are also likely to remove iron from the matter: "Yes, sometimes we use these methods, but rarely (rarely are they 3 times a year or 3 times a week?)" , "We usually put them in the thinking chair to pay attention to the affected child and not the aggressor," "only a teacher does when the situation in the classroom begins to be unsustainable," etc.
Perhaps with these answers you get a lot of information and it is enough to know how they handle the inevitable conflicts. Maybe asking, and if you see that they don't hide anything (there are schools where, luckily, they clearly explain what the educational line is and if you like it you take it and if you don't leave it), you can decide to what extent can that school be the one you want for your children.
However, as I say, there are parents who are left with a strange sense of ambiguity, that they have not explained everything, to which they could use a key question to clarify everything.
"What do you do with the twin brothers?"
Normally there is always a father or mother who asks this question because he has two twin or twin children and is interested in knowing how they act in this situation. However, if the question does not appear, if nobody asks it, I think it is advisable to do it because, for me, it is the best indicator to know to what extent they respect children and to what extent they decide to "break the molds" of children , filing their personalities, restricting their freedoms and teaching them that those who know are the greatest.
I say this because, contrary to what most schools do, they separate them so that each one grows independently of the other, the best thing for the twin brothers, in my view, is that they go to the same class together.
I talked about it a few years ago, but to summarize the arguments, tell you that separating two twin brothers, who have grown up together and are lucky to have each other, makes them have to separate twice. They separate from the mother, entering an unknown place, with unknown children and unknown teachers and, in addition, they separate from their brother.
The twin brothers are lucky, with respect to the rest of the children, to have a brother of the same age who matures while doing very similar things. Instead of taking advantage of having each other, instead of making it easy for them, instead of allowing such a change in their lives they can live it together, they separate them making it even harder for them than for the rest.
Many times it is said that if they go together one depends on the other and thus they are not able to interact with other children. I guess you'll agree with me that It is quite absurd to think that because of having a brother, children will stop playing with other children (Because being so it is better that children do not go to the park with their siblings ...) and especially when they are three years old, who usually have little interest even in making friends. Well, more than interest, maybe I would say capacity. At the language level they cannot be explained much, at the game level they continue to play more comfortable alone than with the others and, although they can share games, they do not care much about group play, so, no matter how much they say, I still do not see the Benefits of separating two children that are sure to be happier, calmer and better suited to a new place if they stay together.
But most schools separate them ...
A co-worker, mother of two twin children, has explained to me these days that the only school where they are not separated is one in which there is only one line, that is, there is only one class for children their age and that is why There is no option to separation.
All other schools choose to separate them because, as I say, they see it as beneficial and positive for children, showing that they are still anchored in a way of educating little empathically with children in which they are more interested in learning how hard life is how beautiful and simple it can be.
