We don't need to hit our children to educate them

To mistreat is to treat someone by word or deed, so a cheek if it is an abuse, although we can clarify and say that a spanking is not the same as a beating. There is much talk lately that the crimes of minors consisting of attacks on their parents are increasing, and the impossibility of "reasonably and moderately correcting" their children is pointed out, since the withdrawal of two articles of the Civil Code disavowes physical punishment.

Well, I say disallow for saying something, because hitting children is still hitting, what happens is that it is not as visible as gender violence, and usually does not cross the borders of the home. Instead, the editors of the modification (of the Civil Code) intended to reprimand the children, the parents respected the physical and psychological integrity, and also take into account their personality.

Parenting and Education versus Consumer Society

And clarified that a cheek if it is a mistreatment, it would be possible to clarify a couple things: first of all the parents are very limited when it comes to educating children, and often not because of lack of will or personal resources, but because we lack natural communities that support us, give us support in a task as rewarding as complicated. If we add to this our own experiences when we were children, and no one questioned whether the parents whipped the children with the belt, or that the teachers hit the students' hands; We will understand (and understand is not the same as accept) reactions that from impulsiveness, lead some parents to hit the children.

Now, it is not the same to hit a child, and then ask for forgiveness and tell him that we are sure that he does not deserve it, that he boast of knowing how to educate "because when he does not obey me I give him a leap"

Secondly, it is true that it seems that "our hand has gone" (this time it is a metaphor) allowing children to have everything they wanted, and this has resulted in demanding and demanding attitudes. That is why it seems logical to retake the reins of parenting and education to return to that intermediate point that will lead us to have more values ​​for children, know how to better appreciate the efforts made by them, and at the same time, develop critical thinking.

Because critical thinking we need in abundance, since our intentions of moderation are met with a lot of stimuli that encourage consumption, competitive attitudes and an extremely vulgar (social) way of being. And who alludes to the lack of effort (supposedly observed in youth), I think I should also look at this aspect, because families run into a wall quite difficult to save

Parents are parents

In this, I do agree with Judge Calatayud (protagonist of the article that motivates my entry), who comments that if you are friends with your children, this makes them orphans. But it is not reason enough for anyone to put in the hands of the parents tools that allow them to use physical punishment if they don't do what we want.

The children have to understand them, accompany them, respect them and educate them; and keep track of the great influence we have on them, and the modeling that implies the way we move through life and how we behave with them. But from my point of view it is always better that we do it from affection and closeness, and giving them possibilities to grow as people based on facing your mistakes and trying to improve them, this way we might get a better society.

It is requested (also) in the text linked below, that the professors have authority again because they cannot tolerate that the students add their teachers. But as I like to turn everything around (and not only writing but also in real life), I sincerely believe that although teachers must be respected (as are students), more dialogue is necessary, and that parents get involved in solving problems They originate from school.

In other words, I do not like those families who go from speaking badly to the tutor at the door of the school to stand in the meeting demanding and with a arrogant attitude; but I also don't want to think that parents are left aside, because from respect we can ask that the particular needs of our children be taken into account.

If we ask around (and we may even find examples among our readers), we will stumble fathers and mothers of children and adults, who they have never laid their hands on their children more than to hug them. Does this mean that they have never been corrected? Of course not, because children, adults and the elderly, we are wrong, and when we do we value the intervention of someone with authority (based on experience), and Without authoritarianism taken to the extreme (let's review the possible consequences of an authoritarian education), help us.

Why do I change and talk about helping instead of correcting? Because helping is having empathy to understand the emotions of others, and helping is also restricting the use of the smartphone because it interferes with studies and free time; It helps you who puts you in the shoes of others to collaborate at home, and who sits with you to talk after you've hit your brothers.

Is it inadmissible for children to hit their parents? Of course it is, in the same way as the latter get angry with some people in development and more vulnerable than them.

Images | Loren Kerns, Robert Spiegel, Lori Ann Via | ABC In Peques and More | Child abuse causes problems in physical and mental health when children grow up